I Apologize

First, I must say I'm sorry to P-Nut (she yelled at me last night on the phone for putting down my old stories in the previous blog). But, you have to admit, some of them were REALLY bad. I bow to thee O Great Swammi Of All Things Journalistic. Hehe.

I am having an off day today. Kinda feelin' sorta down... I hate those days. I've gotten pretty good at not putting myself down a lot, like I used to. But, days like this I seem to catch myself doing it again. The weird thing is that nothing really happened yesterday or today to put me in this mood.... maybe it was organizing my bills from the past few years... Yeah, that's it. I guess I shouldn't finish it when I get home. Right? Somehow, I don't think that excuse works.

I worked really hard to stop the vicious cycle that constantly kept me down. It makes me angry when I get in these moods and start doing it again. I wish it was as easy to believe the good stuff that you hear from others as it is to believe the bad stuff that you hear. And, why is it that it is always the bad stuff that you seem to repeat over and over to yourself?

I seem to do the worst writing when I am in these moods too, which is obviously not helping with the WIP. I tend to put my own insecurities into the heroine and then she gets on my nerves.... probably not the best when trying to motivate myself to keep writing her story.

Sometimes I wish that we all had drains in our heads (I know this is weird, but hear me out...). All the bad stuff we hear could be stuffed into a single compartment and then we can pull the drain and all those bad thoughts disappear as if we've never heard them.

Now I realize that everyone has qualities that aren't their best, and I do think that people need to hear criticism, because how else would we grow as people. There are things that we all need to change. What I am talking about is senseless criticism that has no purpose other than to make a person feel inferior and someone else superior. Like "You're fat" When in reality you are 5'11" and weigh 145lbs.... by no means fat. Or "You're ugly"... you hear stuff like that over and over and eventually you begin to believe it. Whether it has a basis in reality or not... it becomes YOUR reality.

All I am trying to say in all my ramblings is maybe we should all be a little more conscious of what we say and why we are saying it. You never know how much your opinion might mean to someone else, and how it may effect them in the long run.