Can I call it, or what?

Well, it's not concrete yet, 'cause of course I haven't heard anything, but it looks like I was right on the money. He has yet to call about the plans for this weekend. I'm not surprised. Why should I be? It is not like past behavior supports any other result. I struggled a lot last night, trying to figure out how to keep my head on straight. I wrote a letter last night. 8 pages long. Writing it showed me just where I am where this situation is concerned. It was a huge wakeup call. I'm still being pulled in 2 separate directions, that is abundantly clear by the amount of contradictions in the letter. But, I am beginning to see things that I was completely blind to before, or at least in denial about.

My last rehab was this morning. I'm really sore, but all should be good by tomorrow *crosses fingers* It'll be a busy day today and tomorrow getting everything ready for the party tomorrow night. And, I am determined to enjoy the party no matter what.

If I don't get a chance to blog tomorrow, I hope that everyone has a wonderful New Years and I'll see you next year.

Confusion Continues

My brain still hasn't righted itself yet... Wait, was it ever right? Well anyway, you know what I mean. I'm expecting to be disappointed, hopefully that will keep him from ruining my New Year's when he doesn't show or call.

On another note, I only have one more day of rehab left. YEAH! They've spent the last 2 sessions torturing me to the point that I can hardly walk that evening. I'll be more than happy when that is finally done.

I managed to get a few chapters read from Crimson City!!! I was stunned, but then again, I was sitting in the exam room, waiting for the doctor to come in and take out my stitches. And, of course, I haven't gotten back to it since, but I made some good progress.

I haven't gotten much more done on the WIP. Figures. I want to try to write some today, the confusion in my brain may give me some interesting twists... although it could also result in butchering a good bit of the book, but that's what the delete key is for, right?

My brain has shut down from shock

Good Lord! I'm still stuttering. From out of the blue, I get the strangest phone call yesterday from someone I haven't seen in over a year, and haven't had any kind of "real" conversation with in at least that long. He dropped off the face of the planet without a word or explaination. I sat through the entire half hour long conversation with my jaw in my lap, unable to form much of a coherent thought. How do you respond to it? I mean, he asked me if I was angry with him. It was a year ago! Do you have any idea how much energy it would take to STILL be pissed at him after all this time? What the hell would be the point? I moved past it. It was his choice to drop out of my life. Yeah, I was upset about it then. I was worried about him. I heard that he wasn't doing well, but he refused to return my phone calls. I wasn't able to help him. For my own sanity, I needed to move forward. I couldn't sit there and worry about a complete unknown.

Now he calls, and is depressed and feeling horrible... again or still I don't know, 'cause he disappeared. And, what happens to me? I get sucked right back in, because no matter how crappy he's treated me, he was my friend at one time, and for that alone, I will always be there for him, whatever he would need. *plasters sticker on forehead that reads: DOORMAT* But, I do have to say this. I will not be treated like that again. He says he's coming to see me. There are a number of times when he has made plans to come see me, and then not shown up, without a word... usually for days after. Not returning my calls when I am wondering if he's been in an accident and lying on the side of the road, or if he got into a fight with his ex and broke his phone... Like there is no other phone in the greater Pgh area. And yes, that was an actual excuse that was given at one point when he didn't show up and/or call or RETURN my call. I'll be there for him, obviously. His treatment of me seriously needs to change (or frankly, he'll lose vital body parts as a result of an attack by Peanut... whoops). But, I am at least going into this with zero expectations. At least that is what I am trying to do. We'll see how it goes as it get closer to the day he is supposed to see me. He really hurt me once. I don't intend to allow him that opportunity again.

Ok, on the brighter side of things, I got my stitches out today and Friday is my last rehab session. Yeah! Some good things to counteract this weird crap happening with my "friend." I'm not allowed to work for at least 2 more weeks though, which sucks. I miss swinging the sledgehammer and cutting pipes and getting dirty.

Well, I've got too many things running through my head and I don't wanna bore everyone with the continuing drama and crap as mentioned above. So, I'm off to sit down and write it all out and see where that leads me.

Merry Christmas!!

Just wanted to post and wish all a very Mery Christmas and Happy New Year.

Still haven't managed to read any of the Crimson CIty book.... I think that maybe I am just not meant to read it... but I'm gonna keep trying.

The good news is, I opened my WIP and managed to write 8 whole pages of pretty quality stuff. I only hope that I can keep this up for a while and maybe get finished with the thing.

Anyway, have a safe and happy holiday. My best wishes to you and yours.

Grrrr

I KNEW IT!!!! I finished reading the last of the stories in one of the books, by lunchtime I might add. How many pages was I able to read in Crimson City? A BIG FAT ZERO!!! I knew it would happen. I sit down and open the book, get interrupted and never get back to it!!!! I am beginning to think that I'll never get the chance to finish the book. It's a good one so far. I know I'll enjoy it, as I've read a few other books by Liz Maverick and enjoyed them, but geez, I can't seem to get to the next damn page!

Well, time in the day is wasting away. Here goes another attempt at Crimson City. Wish me luck.

1 1/2 done

The application is in the mail. *crosses fingers* One down.

I managed to read all but the last story in book #4. I hope to finish it by lunchtime today, then hopefully pick up another and try to finish it. I actually picked up book #2 first, but I couldn't make myself read it. I hate to start a book and not finish it... and this one sounds really interesting, but the writing style is so weird that I'm having trouble reading it. What is happening is when I am reading it, I am constantly rewriting in my brain in the past tense, to try to make it at least somewhat readable, but, I don't know, it feels like too much work to me, ya know.

Book #1 will probably be the next one I pick up. I really hope I can pick it up and read more than a page or two. It's Crimson City. I really want to get into it and go to the next book. I am anxious to read book 3 in that series by Patti O'Shea, Through A Crimson Veil. But, I want to read the books in order! I think I'll turn the phone off when I pick the book up. I hate those damn courtesy calls anyway, and I want ZERO distractions when I pick it up. I WILL get through this book before the end of the day... tomorrow at the latest!

Wish me luck. I'm off to bury my nose in a book!

A productive day

Well, that's what I am hoping for at least. I was able to get an application ready, I plan to get it in the mail tomorrow. Yeah! 1 down, many more to go, but I'm hoping that I get a positive response from this one. It seems like it will be the best fit for me as far as employment goes. Their specific job is investigations. That is what I enjoy, and the part that I am best at. It means 16 moe weeks down in GA if I make it, but so do most of the other places I am looking at. The hardest thing will be stomaching that food for 16 more weeks. That last 10 was 10 weeks too many.

My next challenge for the day is to finish some books I'm reading. I am in the middle of 5, count 'em 5, books! I need to finish some of them! 1, I keep getting interrupted everytime I pick it up. It never fails, I only get a page read and them something comes up and I have to put it down. I really want to get into it, but I never get the chance.

I started on another one a few weeks ago, and it weirded me out. I really want to read it because the story sounds like it will be a good one, but not only is it written in first person, which is weird to me in itself, it is written in the present tense. Like... I say goodbye to him and walk to my truck. It's too weird trying to read it. I've never seen another book written like that. It's always, I said goodbye and walked out to my truck. I can't seem to wrap my mind around this thing.

I started a 3rd that looked interesting, but is turning out to be a real disappointment. I already figured out who the bad guy, or girl in this case, and I'm not beyond chapter 2.... that is supposed to be the big climax of the story. The author gave it away too quickly. I'm all for showing who the bad guy is, as long as that isn't supposed to be the big surprise at the end.

Book 4 is a book with 3 short stories in it. The first one is pretty interesting... I'm a little more than halfway through it, but I can't seem to want to pick it back up. The rest seem like I'll like them as well, but I don't know.

Book 5 I have been reading for over a year. It is an encyclopedia of crime throughout the years 1800-2004. It is written like a bunch of newspaper articles. I'm not expecting to finish it anytime soon, and I've made some great progress on it over the last week, but I'd like to get a little further into it.... I hope to finish it before I get old and more grey than I already am.... for those who aren't aware, I started getting grey at age 15. I now have a streak of grey running through my hair. It is all concentrated in one area. Everybody asks if I dye it that way.... nope.

But anyway, back on topic, I just ordered the DaVinci Code. I heard it is supposed to be an interesting read. It is supposed to be here before the end of the week. That's why I really want to get through some of these books. My TBR pile is already overwhelming, I don't want to add anymore to it.

The other project is the WIP. I managed to open it on Sunday.... a shameless attempt to avoid some of my family (my mother's side of the family's christmas). Opening it is about as far as I got. Too much noise to concentrate.

Anyway, I better be off if I wanna get any of this done. Luckily the only step left for the first task is addressing the envelope.... item 1, check.... now onto item 2 *crosses fingers*

I Survived!

Whoo Hoo! I lived through surgery! And, I didn't hurt anyone in the hospital!! Surgeon and nurses all left with all of their body parts still attached. In case you're wondering, I'm not the best of patients. I tend to get a little grumpy (MASSIVE UNDERSTATEMENT!!!) when someone comes near me with a needle or knife. I am already in rehab, and am walking, most of the time, without crutches. The stitches come out 2 days after christmas. So, I'll get an extra christmas present! Whoo Hoo! A great big THANK YOU to everyone for their well wishes!

Just wanted to do a quick update. I need to lay down for a bit... they kicked my ass in rehab today.

Way to GO! Two in a ROW!!

Good Lord, now I'm rhyming.

I had a GREAT day at work today! I had my very own helper and put 2 water heaters in, pretty much all by my lonesome. FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!!!! Yeah me!!!! I soldered all by myself (a total of 12 fittings) and I didn't have any leaks when I was done!!!!!! Not bad for only having done it once with supervision on a single fitting. I am so proud! I did good. I did both gas lines all by my lonesome, too! My helper did the flue, and helped to carry out the old water heater and carry in the new one. *does little dance while singing* I did damn good today!... Too bad it is the last day I get to work before my surgery :( I don't wanna go!

We are going to hunt down our christmas tree tomorrow. I can't wait! I hope I can weasel out another gingerbread cookie from the place. See, they only give them to kids, which I am well past the kid stage, but the last few years, my dad has talked them out of a cookie for me. We've been going there since I was little. And I never let him go anyplace else to get a tree, 'cause I WANT MY COOKIE! That is the only gingerbread cookie I get and eat all year. The owner's wife makes them all and decorates them. She used to make gingerbread boys and gingerbread girls, but for the last 12 years or so she's only made gingerbread boys.

Sunday, it is off to spend the afternoon with Peanut, a pre-surgery party for both of us, a week early for her though. And, if she reads this, a big CONGRATS! on getting your port out! Finally!

Well, it's gonna be a busy one tonight, Daddy is playing, and I still need to get ready to go. It'll probably be a little while before I blog again... and I was doing so well... since my weekend is pretty much jam packed and then I have to be at the hospital Monday before anyone sane is awake. I'll blog again as soon as I can.

Ha! Only a few days this time!

I managed to have only a few days go by this time. All I have to say is IT IS DAMN COLD HERE! I've been freezing for the past few days! Managed to get soak and wet yesterday from an exploding pipe, then walk around in jeans that were not only wet, but FROZEN half the day! Talk about uncomfortable. We are expecting about a foot of snow tonight... meaning the world as we know it has come to an end. At least you would think so, seeing as how everyone and their mother was at the grocery store buying up milk and toilet paper. When will they learn that when the weather guy calls for a lot of snow, we barely get a dusting. They should only worry when the weather guy calls for either a light dusting or no snow at all. That's when we get hammered in this town!

Still haven't worked on the WIP. Shame on me. I will get to it though, I swear.

Well, I better go and make some dinner; my stomach is yeling at me to feed it. See ya soon

I think I got lost!

I disappeared for a while. I really didn't feel much up to writing. I haven't done any writing on my WIP either. I am so disappointed with myself. I did read through the WIP with the intention of writing, but once I finished reading it, I turned off the computer to do something else and I never got back to it.... although that was just a day or two ago.

I'm a little nervous about the surgery coming up next week. I had my pre-op appointment yesterday. It's getting closer now. I wanna see how many people it takes to hold me down to put in the IV. I don't do needles. Plus, it is my first hospital visit. Never been admitted for anything before. The Dr. said that the surgery should only take about 30-45 minutes. And, I should be discharged by lunch time or so. The crutches oughtta be loads of fun, especially with all the goofy stairs in my parents' house.

I've talked with some of my training classmates. It sounds like they are going through hell at the moment, and they have lost a few of the other people in the class. Their numbers are steadily dwindling down. I have so new applications that I am getting ready to send out. I should have one out by the end of the week if all goes well. Then the process begins again. The other agency that I am looking at doesn't have a position that I am qualified for open until January, so the pressure is off for that one. But, I am excited to move on and get back to work. I just have to wait until I can walk again before I start training. But that shouldn't be too long after the surgery. For now, I am back doing plumbing and heating and loving every minute of it... well almost every minute of it; it's just too damn cold to be standing on top of a roof with the wind blowing, trying to keep you balance while walking on ice... that I could do without.

I hope to keep up with my blog better than I have been lately. Hopefully, I'll see ya'll in a couple of days!... wishful thinking, but hey, maybe once I get back into writing the blog, I'll get back into writing my WIP.